Monday, April 2, 2007
Joy and Sorrow
Gibran tells us the connection between 'Joy and Sorrow,' and how we have sorrow at the same depth of our joy when we lose that which has brought us the joy. When I worked in Hospice I used to ask the surviving spouse if I could ask them a 'stupid question.' I would then ask them if they would have preferred NOT to have had the love and joy with their loved one who died in order to have less sorrow now? They all answered no to the stupid question. I also would answer no to the stupid question and do find comfort now in the depth of my sorrow because it is directly related to the love and joy I had with Cecil.
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4 comments:
Paulette, this blog will help so many people. Keep it going and keep exploring your own hidden talents as you walk through the valley of grief, remember you help all who follow.
Ah, the joy and the sorrow. My joy must have been great as my sorrow is heavy tonight. I am having a hard time describing my feelings as they are many. I just can't get the lump out of my throat yet.
I miss my Dad, my friend, my hero, my greatest ally, my teacher, my cheerleader, my father...
Paulette,
You know there are never any words to say at a time like this. My heart aches for you each and every day, for I know the pain your heart is feeling. Cecil taught me a liitle bit about life, cherishing each and every moment like fine wine, a great cup of coffee, and a wonderfully prepared meal. The time we had with our loved ones is never enough time. To all of Paulette's and Cecil's family, go easy on yourself. I have always explained my grief like the ocean. Sometimes I am wading, having fun, and life seems good, other times a wave knocks me over and the tears and emotions overwhelm me. I think one of the biggest mistakes we make as humans is not asking for what we need. Ask for a hug, ask for a shoulder to cry on, ask people to not speak, and to let you talk, scream, cry, or sit in silence with you. Allow yourself time to feel.
I have never heard the song "Its a Wonderful World" played so much as I have heard it in the past few weeks. It was the first song I heard as I drove to the funeral service, it was also played for me on the way home. I heard it as I drove to your house Paulette, last week, and I heard it tonight as I went out to get dog food. I talk out loud to Cecil each time acknowledging that he is still here with us, we just can not see him now. My heart aches for all of you as you move your way through this. Take good care of yourselves, and feel him with you when you feel like you can't make it through another day, for he is there looking more handsome and vibrant than he ever did before.
Oh, to have experienced such joy! Though you are now sorrowful, Cecil would want you to remember all the good times you had together. May his memory forever bring you joy! This blog is beautiful - full of the joy you shared together.
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